Emojis: as hieroglyphics of the internet and the DNA of the digital soul, much can be gleaned from them.
Are you ready to understand the emojis? Let’s dive into their red flags and their dos and don’ts.
🥺 - The pleading-eyes emoji
This girl is submissive and kinky. She will be sensitive and high-maintenance, however.
Do:
- Make plans and lead
- Call her a good girl
Don’t:
- Ignore her
😉 - The winking face
You’re dealing with a person who can’t pick up on social cues. There’s a good chance that they’re even insane: few people in their right minds use this emoji unironically.
Expect for this person to be exhausting in their inability to take hints and inability to be normal more generally. She will text you too much even when you don’t reciprocate. Possibly ex-evangelical.
Do:
- Be clear with her
Don’t:
- Let her think you’re dating when you’re not
:^) – The nose man
Ah, the smiley nose-face emoticon. Not quite an emoji, but an important method of text-expression nonetheless.
If you see this one, you are dealing with a very-online girl of the edgy variety. Possible 4chan pedigree. Expect edgy humor and morbid interests.
Do:
- Really be yourself and let your freak flag fly
Don’t:
- Worry about looking normal to her
💕💖❣️🥰 – Heart emojis
A girly girl who is into Sanrio and stuff. She has a sugary sweet aesthetic and affect, but it’s mostly an act. She’s kinda mean, secretly vindictive, and likely racist.
Do:
- Be firm with your boundaries
Don’t:
- Betray her – she will take revenge
😐 – The blank expression
This emoji indicates that the user has a dissociative disorder. Expect her to experience episodes involving loss of connection between thoughts, memories, feelings, surroundings, behavior and identity.
Do:
- Be understanding
Don’t:
- Dematerialize in front of her
🙂 – The demented smile
Here is a woman who is barely holding it together. This is the emoji of a dangerous and potentially violent individual.
Do:
- Calmly but quickly walk in the other direction. Don’t:
- Make any startling movements or facial expressions that could be perceived as threatening.
😂 – The laugh-cry
She uses Instagram and TikTok a lot. She’s not very smart, but she is also fun and low-maintenance.
Do:
- Share your dumbest memes with her Don’t:
- Try to have philosophical conversations
👽 – The alien
The gentle smirk of the extraterrestrial indicates that a girl is easygoing, understanding, and all-around a chill homebody. She will smile a lot and laugh at your bad jokes a lot if she likes you.
Cherish her. Do not fumble her.
Do:
- Stay in and watch weird YouTube videos together. Don’t:
- Be inconsiderate.