"From the moment I understood the weakness of my normie lifestyle, it disgusted me."
Goth girls are great. They’re beautiful, they’re freaky, they're mysterious. And it seems like these days, everyone wants a goth gf. At least young aspie men who use the internet too much, such as the guy reading this. But wait – there are only so many goth girls to go around! Uh oh!
That means that you need to maximize your chances with the right strategies to attract a goth girl of your own. Lucky for you, the author of this article built Wingman, the top AI dating assistant, and therefore knows literally everything there is to know about this subject.
Recognize that a bona fide "goth subculture" does not exist
There are memes that talk about how you’re supposed to be interested in "the goth subculture" before courting a goth girl. These memes are retarded, because in the 2020s, there’s no longer a distinct goth subculture to speak of. There are no new gothic rock bands, just nostalgia for music that had its day from the ‘80s and ‘90s. The fashion has also been assimilated into the melting pot of generic "alt fashion."
Emo? Same thing as goth. E-girl? Basically the same thing. It’s at most a spectrum these days. Septum piercings, dyed hair, tattoos, big boots, dark edgy clothes, and all that. Subcultures used to spread via local gatherings and gate-kept media that created few opportunities for massive cross-pollination; they can’t exist in the age of the internet where fashion and culture are transmitted over Pinterest and TikTok. It’s all mixed together now due to its mainstreamization. Probably for the best frankly, because they seem to be making these girls on an assembly line now. (And you’re blackpilling?)
For this reason, this article’s wisdom will apply to the broader category of the "alt girl."
Don’t worry about being goth. Worry about being edgy.
When’s the last time you heard about a "goth dude?" Never? They might still exist, but they aren’t an object in the public consciousness. Nobody cares about them because they aren’t desirable or interesting. The closest thing we have is "alt boys" with neck and hand tattoos. They are, in fact, desirable and interesting. Being too safe is bad, especially when it comes to finding your goth queen.
So don’t worry about gothing out to attract a goth girl. That would be weird and probably wouldn’t work. Instead, worry some kind of edgy – or at least interesting – aesthetic, because your safe polo-shirt-and-jeans ain’t gonna help you. Having an interesting style could mean many different things to different kinds of people, and it doesn’t necessarily involve embracing "alt" fashion. It could mean something like, for example:
- sleazecore
- Wearing a gold chain with a tanktop under a blazer
- That annoying look where you have a wolf-cut mullet and a mustache. You’ll look retarded but it will make you more attractive to goth girls.
- Wearing jewelry: signet rings, chains, bracelets, etc
- Tattoos
There are a lot of options, and it will look different depending on your age, life circumstances, and what you feel comfortable with in terms of expressing yourself. It just involves finding your edgy spirit. What do you admire in people who have a more daring fashion sense than you? Go online and get inspired.
But the bottom line is that to increase your chances of getting what you want, you must transform. But it must always feel like you are meant to wear it. It can never feel like you’re wearing a costume. This doesn’t have to happen overnight; make it a long-term project where you iterate gradually as you get comfortable. Adjust gradually and see what works. Update your Tinder photos accordingly when you do.
Get tattoos
Other tweaks to your personal fashion are negotiable. Getting tattoos is not. Getting tattoos will help you get a goth gf, provided that they don’t suck.
Avoid sleeve tattoos; that’s millennial cringe. Get patchwork tattoos; that’s zoomer cringe – but in a good way, since the girls you’re probably going after are Gen Z. Unless it’s the 35-year-old pharmacy tech Invader Zim fan you’re pursuing, in which case it should not be that hard.
Start small. Get inspired. Pinterest is a great resource for patchwork tattoos. Look for ones that make you think, "ok, sick." Then find a tattoo
The great thing about them is that if one is substandard, you can make it work as a piece of a greater tapestry by putting other tattoos of art around it.
As stated before, these tattoos should fit your lifestyle and self-image. But if getting a goth gf is really a priority, go as edgy as your career can allow. Neck and hand tattoos are increasingly socially acceptable but still "dangerous" and will get you points. A face tattoo will make you appear to be criminally insane, and will also get you points. You probably shouldn’t get a face tattoo.
"But all this for attracting a goth gf?" you ask? Uhh, you’re the one reading a guide on the subject, asshole! Do you want to be paralyzed by fears of being "cringe" or do you want your fucking goth gf?
What’s that? You pick the "goth gf" option? Ok then: you are a man and you must transform. Nobody wants you for just existing; they want you for what you have become. How exactly you transform depends on what you want. You must have the will-to-power to reach out and grab it, even – especially – if it puts you outside of your comfort zone.
Do not try to impress her with your money or career
Goth girls have chosen a path: aesthetics over quality of life. They have, to some extent, consciously rejected the way of the bourgeois normie that elevates values of conformity, stability, and success in a corporate career.
Assortative mating tells us that people tend to pair with other people who are similar to them. So, you can’t expect a goth babe to be dreaming about being swept off of her feet by run-of-the-mill finance bro.
Huge generalization incoming: goth girls – or, more accurately, those interested in today’s internet slurry of alt-culture – often come from economically and culturally left-behind areas or demographics. Their culture has become internet pop-culture rather than anything local or truly cosmopolitan.
So, discard everything you think you know about women "being attracted to money." First of all, it’s not really true: women are attracted to status and competence rather than money itself. Second of all, career-minded types aren’t viewed as desirable "high-status" men, because in certain subcultures – such as goth – success in the corporate world is viewed as bland and normie rather than desirable. Your career and status are boring to a significant subset of women these days.
Throwing your money around will make you look cringe if anything. If you have a high-status career, don’t trumpet it – downplay it. You don’t need to be ashamed of it, but don’t bring it up unprompted and make it a secondary aspect of your identity and life. The story about you should be told by your style and attitude, not your LinkedIn profile or your degree path.
Make friends with weirdos and de-normify your life
If your friends are all corporate normies, that’s a problem. You must build a social life for yourself that is:
- Instrumental to coming into contact goth girls
- Interesting to a goth girl
So, expand your friend group to people you don’t necessarily even want to date. They don’t even have to be particularly "alt," just edgy types who aren’t corporate squares; you want a social circle that is in the center of the venn diagram of "unconventional" and "outgoing" and "socially adept." These people are good company for and are critical for the de-basic-ification of your life. But where do you meet these people?
Music is an easy one. There’s no real goth subculture anymore, but a solid one-third of today’s popular music follows into the category of "has tons of girls with septum piercings as fans." Emo counts. Emo rap definitely counts. You don’t need to practice spitting game at girls at these things right off the bat – you should be more focused on getting an insider’s appreciation for this culture, making friends, and building a social infrastructure that will support a lifestyle that’s viewed as exciting by a goth girl.
If there’s a goth club in town, or a club with a goth night, check it out, but don’t look like Mr. Normie on the hunt for goth pussy and don’t view it as a holy grail. Be creative: look for social events centering around the aforementioned cultural pursuits (example: a horror-film festival). Weird but cool stuff. Make friends there.
You don’t need to transform into some sort of caricature of an edgelord and abandon your old ways – not even close, actually. Everything described here should be included as a new addition to your interests, just one of your many facets. Multifaceted men are well-rounded and interesting. Being one-dimensional would be trying too hard and would therefore be fake and cringe.
But however minor, your new interests and social experiences should be part of your normal life rather than an escape from it. Your world must already be a world where the goth girl is comfortable. You shouldn’t live in it exclusively, but you should have one foot in it; you can be a dilettante, but you cannot be a tourist.
Pretend to be interested in her art, even if it sucks
The goth girl often has an identity that revolves around her creative pursuits, no matter how bad she is at them. Become knowledgeable about her preferred medium and her preferred subject matter so you can carry an intelligent conversation about stuff that makes her ears perk up. Drawing, writing, painting, music, fashion, you name it – goth girls tend to really care about this stuff.
Even if it sucks, pretend that it is good. Be encouraging and have your encouragement become part of her mythology about her creative pursuits. That will automatically make you favorable in her mind. But this doesn’t mean being a shameless sycophant – you can challenge her in other ways, but just be nice and supportive about her art.
Having knowledge on the arts will help you here. Comparing her work to that of vaguely similar famous artists from the past. The more obscure and more precise your comparison, the more she’ll feel understood by you.
Remember: a woman’s favorite topic of conversation is herself.
Become comfortable with nerdy shit
This should be the easiest box to check since being into goth girls is a nerdy-male trait to begin with.
Goth girls overlap heavily with nerdy girls. They tend to like anime, manga, k-pop, horror films, Western animation, Hazbin Hotel, Stardew Valley, fiction writing, Twilight, Disney, YouTube streamers, Hello Kitty – pop culture; internet culture; low culture. Be at peace with it.
This could intersect with her creative interests. If she’s on the very nerdy side she will likely be interested in something known as "character design." Her OCs ("original characters") will very likely be bad. Don’t let her know that, though! Pretend they are cool and imaginative.
Anyway, don’t hide your gay nerd shit like being into heavy metal music or playing League of Legends.
But wait, I’m a woman who is interested in getting a goth gf. All your advice is for men!
Yeah sorry, I don’t know what to tell you. This advice probably works for women to some extent. Lesbians don’t have sex anyway, so don’t worry too much.
Have options and be good with girls in general
If you’re reading this article it probably means you’ll fall in love with the first pretty goth girl you come across. That’s really bad! And it means you don’t have much of a shot with her.
You want to be good with girls in general, because goth girls are girls. Normal dating strategy and "game" tactics apply. So, if you don’t have much experience with girls in general, get some experience, and don’t rule out girls because they aren’t goth.
So, go out there and flirt! Go on some dates. Get rejected and learn to get rejected with grace and with a smile. Rejection makes you get experience points with women and makes you able to not dread interactions with women and not dependent on a favorable outcome to have a good time.
Also use the Wingman.live AI – it’s the best AI dating-assistant in the world, and it will upgrade your rizz in very real ways. Seriously, you’ll get more matches and more dates.
Talk to her, doofus
This step is not optional, unfortunately. When faced with the opportunity, you need to shoot your shot and go up and make a conversation with the girl. Don’t think, just do, and take rejection like a champ, in the likely event that it comes your way. Practice makes perfect.
She cannot be your manic pixie dream girl
To the male gaze, the goth girl is often the manic pixie dream girl archetype. She is the object of desire that will save you from your ordinary ways, and lead you into her little world of wonder.
This is one of the reasons why goth girls are so desirable, especially to men who are themselves pretty boring. Their aesthetic of sexy mystery gives a glimpse into an enchanted garden where everything is full of adventure and dark excitement – the great "something else" that romance so often promises.
This is often an archetype in movies, but it doesn’t work in real life. You are a man and you must already know who you are. She is just a girl. Take her off the pedestal and humanize her. You can be part of her world, but it must be your world, too. If she inspires you, you must inspire her as well.
The goth girl will not save you from the banality of your life. To get the goth girl, you must have already saved yourself.