Women are attracted to tattoos. Well, some women. Many women. At least, slutty women. (Trump voice): "And that's okay. We like that."
But in all seriousness, having visible tattoos are shortcuts to getting laid. And not just one-night stands: you could attract a real ride-or-die bitch who likes her man to be a little bit dangerous looking.
Being a man means transforming to get what he wants. If you want to get what you want, such as a goth gf, getting tattoos could very well be a critical step in that process.
Why Do Women Like Tattoos?
Before we get into actual strategy for how to get tattoos, we should cover why to get tattoos.
First, we must understand that female attraction is more complicated than male attraction. Male attraction is pretty much one-dimensional: if she embodies and does things that you like, she gets points with you, and you want to sleep with her and date her more. If she's only so-so in several regards (appearance, personality, reliability, intelligence, etc) then you may put her in the FWB-zone and never date her. The hotter, sweeter, more fun, and more reliable she gets, the more you want to commit to or even marry her. It's a simple up-or-down calculation.
The way women see men romantically is a bit more complicated, because there are two dimensions instead of one: men can have good-boy points or bad-boy points. This can be extremely confusing for men, who naturally think that women operate like they do. Being tripped up in this way is one of the most common failure modes for men, who do "all the right things" but never seem to get anywhere with women.
Anything that makes you a safe and stable bet as a friend or husband gets you good-boy points in a woman's eyes. Good-boy points make a woman feel comfortable around you, or may even view you as husband material, but they do not make a woman feel sexually attracted to you. Good-boy points are acquired from things like:
- Your stability, you career
- Your emotional availability
- Your presentability
- How much you have in common
- How safe and nice you are
- How much comfort and security you provide
- How much time and effort you invest in her
Bad-boy points, on the other hand, are the things that make a woman excited and flustered and unlock her base passions. This is your actual attractiveness, the qualities that do make women want to sleep with you. Bad-boy points are earned from:
- Your passions, competence, humor, and lust for life
- Your independence (how defiant you are, how little you yield to social pressure)
- Your confidence
- How exciting and dangerous you seem
- Your physical appearance
- Your dominance (How much people respect you and listen to you)
It's a two-dimensional spectrum. You can have tons of both good-boy points and bad-boy points, in which case you're prince charming from a Hallmark movie. You can have a lack of both, in which case you're invisible at best or a creep at worst.
But the most interesting cases are the men who have a lot of one category and very little of the other.
If you have lots of good-boy points but very little bad-boy points, you're in the "friend zone." You're her reliable shoulder to cry on, you're always there to make her feel safe and comfy, and so on and so forth. This is the classic case of the girl saying, "I wish I could meet someone like you" – she means she wishes she could meet someone who has your good-boy points but also a ton of bad-boy points.
Those men wish they were someone else: the guy who she says "is so bad for her," but whom she keeps going back to nonetheless. This is the man with lots of bad-boy points and not many good-boy points: the hot fuck, the exciting rogue, the mysterious man who she can't quite figure out. If you're having trouble attracting women, this is the mystique you need to focus on cultivating.
This is a long-winded way of saying that tattoos give you bad-boy points. The more tattoos you have – and the more visible they are – the more bad-boy points you get. They don't guarantee attraction, of course, but they amplify what's already there. They say "I'm not playing it safe."
Tattoo Theory 101
Yes, visible tattoos are a quick and effective way to up your bad-boy points and become more fuckable. But if you don't think tattoos will look good on you or you really don't want tattoos for some reason, then getting tattoos to get girls is idiotic and lame. You can stop reading here and focus on acquiring bad-boy points in a different way.
So you need to actually want tattoos for their own sake. If you do want tattoos, you should know that there are thousands of ways to get tattoos. But some are better than others, and some kinds of tattoos are even fucking gay. Allow me to talk you through it.
Tattoos are conversation pieces
First of all, besides looking edgy, visible tattoos are a way to always be peacocking. Peacocking refers to a way of expressing yourself ostentatiously, usually with clothing, so as to attract attention to yourself. Superstar shades, jewelry, or a showy blazer can put eyes on you and invite people (women) to strike up a conversation with you.
Tattoos serve as an even stronger form of peacocking, because they are an unforgeable demonstration of loyalty to an identity – they aren't a costume that you can just put on to "go wild" for one night and then go back to your boring life. Your life and look and identity are forced into a bad-boy state, and this is baked into the assumptions that people project onto you: for better or worse, you're the real deal.
So, good tattoos are the ultimate conversation pieces. Women love to use them as an excuse to talk to you, or at least compliment you. And if a woman compliments you, that's God handing you an opening.
Where do I put them on my body?
The short answer: everywhere. Or at least everywhere that your desired lifestyle and goals can support.
The long answer: more visible = better. Hand tattoos are particularly good because they're pretty much always visible, and also because women find men's hands sexy in general. Neck tattoos are also excellent, but require a little more discernment due to the neck being fleshy and unstructured compared to the bony hands.
But if you only have hand and neck tattoos done, your look will be imbalanced. Slap them all over your upper body: arms, chest, shoulders. If you usually wear long pants, you can avoid getting leg tattoos, at least until you have the perfect idea for that real estate in particular
Where on your body do you start? Where it feels most comfortable for you. Upper arms are a good choice. Then move to more and more visible places. As mentioned before, the sweet spots for catching the eye of a lady are hands and neck. That's because those places are most likely to be visible in normal clothing, and just as importantly, the more un-hideable tattoo locations are, the more they signal your exciting, adventurous nature. Also, as an added bonus, women tend to find men's hands sexy, so accentuating them will go far.
Note: You probably shouldn't get face tattoos if you plan on having a job that pays taxes.
What kind of tattoos should I get?
It is this author's belief that patchwork tattoos are just better. Tribal tattoos are for bald, divorced dads who are "getting into MMA" – you'll look retarded. Sleeve tattoos are a bit dated as well, and you'll look like a millennial from 2013.
So if you're trying to maximize your bad-boy aesthetic, patchwork tattoos are king.
How to maximize impact:
- Have different motifs, different styles, and different levels of precision – go to a few different tattoo artists to mix it up. This is a subtle but important signal that your tattoos aren't a clinically planned project, but spontaneous occasions. This will make you look spontaneous.
- Recognizable tattoos are more effective: religious symbols like crosses, icons like bells or keys, famous characters from history or from fiction – all good ideas.
- Have a theory of what your tattoo aesthetic means. This is important for yourself to have a coherent and compelling overall aesthetic (what should my tattoos look like?) and for explaining themselves to other people, since they'll inevitably be a conversation piece.
Get inspired by places like Pinterest to see what's out there. The latest generation favors bold lines, strategic negative space, minimalism, and the deliberate discontinuity of the patchwork style. "Sticker sleeves" over grand murals. Look at what rappers have – rappers of all races have the kinds of tattoos that are extremely sexy to women. But you should always try to turn inspiration into something of your own, so try not to copy anything outright. Ultimately, tattoos are your style, and your style must be what you feel like you can embody.
Once you've gotten an idea for a tattoo that excites you, find a tattoo artist who can really pull it off. Look at the work they've done in their portfolio to see how they do the technical specifics such as linework and shading. Your relationship with a tattoo artist is an intimate one, because they truly consider what they do to be their art. So choose wisely!
Once you get one or two, getting tattoos becomes pretty addictive, and you'll probably be having ideas for new ones throughout the day. The next tattoo becomes another fun thing in your life to look forward to.
But I'm fat and bald
Then you should definitely get tattoos. You'll go from the fat bald guy (disgusting) to the fat bald guy (I wonder what's dangerous-looking guy is like…).
For fat bald guys, tattoos are the difference between looking like a Reddit moderator and looking like an ex-mercenary.
They're Only Cool If You Like Them
Being a man means always having to transform. You aren't worthy just because you were born, you become worthy because of what you do and what you become. This means that if something isn't working how you'd like, you may need to change your life. This could mean shaking up your style with tattoos, or it could mean a thousand other things.
Being a man also means being independent; don't submit to any trend or style because you think you have to. You choose what you transform into, and that's the most badass thing of all. Are you a badass with completely unmarked skin? Hell yes.
So on the question of tattoos, it's really up to you. Tattoos absolutely attract the eyes of women, but don't treat them as a fast-food shortcut to getting laid, treat them as a way to add to your mythology.